Monkeyboy's Revenge (Part 1)

In response to recent reports and accusations that his game is slipping, Poop Daddy (formerly known as Monkeboy) has agreed to an exclusive one-on-one interview with Halo Beat. Below is the first part of a 4 part series featuring the dialog from this historic conversation:

HB: Let's first start with the name change. Why the change from Monkeyboy to Poop Daddy?

PD: I know it may seem like a crazy thing to do at the height of my celebrity, but I needed a name to really convey what I'm all about. And it's not about being a Monkey...sure, that's part of it, but the reality of the situation is that when I'm on Ascension, hitting Spuds in the back of the noggin with a steamer, I have become his Daddy by covering him in my Poop. Poop Daddy just makes more sense. It's who I am. I am your Daddy and it's because of my Poop. I AM POOP DADDY!

HB: Makes perfect sense to me. Bye the way, nice chain.

* HB points to a large diamond encrusted gold medallion featuring the letters PD above three piles of poop with FB, Spuds and GT written on them.

PD: Thanks, I bought this with the money I earned from doing the cover for the last issue of Halo Beat.

HB: Well, it's some lovely bling. Your partner, Loss Cat has been quoted as saying "Now he couldn't hit air if he fell out of a plane" when talking about the alleged decline in your legendary sticky bomb tossing prowess. How would you like to respond to that?

PD: First, I'd like to make it very clear to my fans that the statement "he couldn't hit air if he fell out of a plane" is a complete falsitude. In fact, I have scientific proof of this and will be suing Loss Cat for slander, libel and basically just pissing me off if he doesn't issue a public apology.

* PD hands HB a signed and notorized letter from the Scientific Institute of Midgetology that says "If Poop Daddy were to fall out of a conventional aircraft(including a banshee) on the planet earth or any other planet that would involve Halo combat then he would indeed hit air 100% of the time. It's science." Also note that the letter is signed by Dr. Kenneth Noisewater a reputed expert in this field.

HB: PD, isn't Dr. Kenneth Noisewater the name of one of the testicles attached to Brian Fantana of Anchorman: Legend of Ron Burgandy fame?

PD: Um, I have no idea what you're talking about. Who is Ron Burgundy?

* Let the record show that behind PD is a large framed picture featuring PD and Will Ferrell(who seems to be wearing a Poop Daddy diamond-encrusted pendant) at a table full of midgets wearing lawn gnome outfits.

* At this point PD requests a short break to tend to the feeding of his Orangutan he affectionately calls "The Octagon"

Part 2 in this epic 4 part interview will be featured in next weeks' issue of Halo Beat